Falling in love with someone is an amazing feeling. It is a journey to find someone you truly connect with emotionally, psychologically, and love.
When you do, as your emotions continue to grow deeper for one another, it is natural to have a desire to marry each other. Some time ago I was chatting with my friend and she shared her experiences in diverse relationships, where she dated a guy who is married with kids but pretended to be single. Fine, he does everything for her but my question is “why not say who you are ”? Definitely, after getting married to her he can still go for someone else.
I have also met a guy who got jilted some days to his engagement by a lady. While he was thinking of settling with her, the lady was just keeping him as a backup guy until her true lover arrives from oversea.
So, if you must fall in love(which is practically necessary), and you are not just falling in love to enjoy the fling part of it; I mean if you truly want the woman or the man in your arms to death do you both part and note some facts to consider before you take the walk down the aisle.
- What are his/her spiritual beliefs and how would he want the family to be a part of this spirituality?
Religion matters and it can be a part of someone’s everyday life. Spirituality means different things to different people. For some, it means attending church regularly. While for others, it may mean more self-reflection and living their life in a particular way. Spiritual beliefs come in many forms, but understanding each other’s expectations, core beliefs, and how they exercise their spirituality will help you both get off to a good start.
- What is your partner passionate about, how do they pursue that passion, and is it something you can support in the long-term?
Each person will have different passions in a relationship. And this is a good thing. Being with someone who is passionate about their interests helps to add another layer to your relationship. But, the key is to ask yourself, are you ok with their hobby, business endeavor, or activity to the point that you don’t feel it would impact your relationship negatively.
- He cheats
Many people will say this point is debatable because lots of couples who have fidelity issues repair their relationship and end up in a better than where they were pre-cheating. I have been in a relationship of 8months where my boyfriend was dating 3 of us when I eventually found out, I stepped out of the relationship, please why wasting time with him: truly this was the guy I loved and his past also says he cheats… but he claims he has changed but still dating 3 girls at a time, he will always say they were church members, in the end, I got to know he was dating 3 of us and I also made other girls know, fine I made them know but they couldn’t leave. Obviously, he can’t handle marriage. But it’s not the act of cheating that’s the deal-breaker here; it’s the disrespect, broken trust and significant risk to your health. (Hello, STDs!)With all the risks that hang in the balance for just a tiny bit of pleasure, it’s entirely inconsiderate and selfish when a man cheats on you. Do you want someone who puts his wants before your needs, like security and trust? I don’t, that’s why I’ve said BYE to cheating men.
4. He is aggressive, even if he doesn’t hit you. Ahh! You may think this is a no-brainer but it isn’t. Most women I know who’ve been in abusive relationships have immense strength, only to shut down in the presence of her partner’s anger and violence. As a strong woman myself, I froze when a guy I’d been dating went into a rage one night, throwing things, damaging property, and calling me names. I knew it was a deal-breaker because even though he didn’t put his hands on me, he scared me. No healthy relationship can be built off a foundation of fear because you never know when his actions may escalate.
5. How is his relationship with his family? Your in-laws will become an extension of your relationship, and if you are marrying someone with kids, their kids will become part of your family too. Be sure you are observant and well aware of your SO’s family dynamics. Are they particularly close to them? you yo enjoy spending time with your SO’s family? Don’t go into this one blindly. Everyone has some level of dysfunction in their families, but observe, and determine if their family is one that is a fit for you.